Grandma...
In only one way, I wish you were here, and that is so I could tell you how special you always were to me.
But, now, in no pain, I trust that you can hear me in heaven better than you could here on earth anyway.
And so I sit here and write a letter on the computer to you to somehow give you honor.
There are so many things that I think of when I think of you. Here are just a minor few things of the many things you were to me...
You were my "second mom."
You were my nanny. You kept me every day, while mama went to school and worked. I would play in your big backyard, pretending I was on an adventure! During this time you taught me how to water the garden.
To this day I love gardening because of you.
You taught me that when I sprayed the plants with the water hose and they "danced," that meant they liked the water! :)
You were my "encourager."
When I was tiny, you noticed my love for kitties.
You were always buying me a new cat ceramic to add to the collection you had started for me...even when I stopped collecting (or never really started...but you made sure I had a collection!:).
And as I grew, you taught me that it was okay to be "me".
Find my passion, was what you told me - in less words than that - but I could always sense it when you talked to me, and through your love. I didn't need to worry about what others were doing...what did I want? What would make Amber happy? That was what I always knew you wanted for me.
And I found them.
You bought me books, and I began to love reading.
You bought me journals, and it was at your house and the hours I spent there writing, that I realized that I wanted to become a writer. I remember telling you that.
I would write story after story in my room at your house in the country - my inspiration.
And you were always so impressed with them.
You were my confidant.
When the teenage years were hard, and I didn't feel I could talk with mom and dad...who would I run to?
You were always a listening ear.
And although sometimes I didn't like your advice, I always knew it was the best.
When I had questions, I knew who would tell me what I needed to hear.
It was you.
You were my inspiration.
Your words were God inspired, and through them, I learned from the best.
You were so involved in church, and you knew the Word.
And when I was questioning, I knew who to ask the hard questions.
Most of all, you were my mentor.
When you got so sick, I felt like I lost my best friend.
That is why I write this.
You were so special to so many, and so loved.
So many lost their best friend, and their mentor the day you fell ill...
We were so worried you would pass then, when you went into a coma that fateful day in April '06.
But you surprised us all and gave us four more years!
It has been a rough four years for us though, and you fought a long, hard battle.
You had a heart attack, then a stroke the same week, and you were never quite the same from then on.
You had to go through some tough, tough times, losing your leg, being paralyzed, and in a wheelchair, among many, many other things.
Being stuck in a nursing home in a bed was one of the hardest things you have ever had to go through, I am sure.
You were SO, SO strong, though.
And the nurses were impressed.
Some of them fell in love with you.
They admired you for who you were, and your strength, and your love, despite all of the trials you were going through, and admired you so much that they cried while tending to your body when you passed.
You were a blessing to many, grandma.
Although at the very end you didn't understand it all, you were still so loved.
We will miss you.
Until we meet again.
I will always love you, and can't wait for that glorious day when, along with Jesus, you will welcome me into heaven with those open arms you've always had.
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