Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The beginning of our beautiful ride...

Well...it's official. We are parents.
What a ride it has been so far!
The ride started bumpy...with a 21 hour labor, then after pushing for 1 1/2 hours with no success, producing an 8 pound baby with a C-section.
We saw the Lord's hand in this, though, as we were told soon that if we had not had a C-section, it might have been a bad situation, because the cord had been wrapped around our baby's neck.
His first cry was the most wonderful sound I have EVER heard. Of course we cried tears of joy when the doctors brought him to my side. What an amazing sight!
Eight pounds of beauty.
I was wheeled into the recovery room while friends and family waited outside to greet our precious gift, and then out after a while, to spend time with our new delight.
He was everything I had imagined, and more!
He had his daddies big feet, and big hands! He had my eyes, and daddies chin and mouth...and we are really not sure where that nose came from!
His hair was dark, but there wasn't much of it!
We loved on him for a bit, and I tried nursing, then the nurses took him.
And that...was the beginning of our long, beautiful ride. :)

The next day we were greeted by tons of sweet family and friends, who loved on our bundle and ooed and awed.
"What big hands and feet he has!" was a lot of their exclamations!
We couldn't have beamed prouder as they passed him around and smiled, and a sweet friend, Maria, took photos of him.
The next few days were kind of a blur really...as we enjoyed him, and I learned to breastfeed, which...is still in the works. It's getting easier, but it's still a bit of a challenge.
Then, the last day, the day we thought we'd probably make it home, we were informed that our little bundle had jaundice!
So...the nurses informed us we'd probably have to stay another day as outpatients, while our son stayed as a patient.
We actually were kind of thankful, because we were able to hang around and receive more expert advice from the nursing staff, which were awesome, and we are now friends with forever.
Kaleb's biliruben level was at 17 at one point, which our doctor did not like, so he got to hang out under the bili light all day, which he didn't actually mind. He seemed to actually enjoy it - like the light was comforting and warm! The best part was that we still occupied the same room we'd had, and were able to still bond with him thanks to the high tech equipment they have in the hospital we stayed at. They even still provided meals for me.
The next day, when they checked his levels, he was at 13.5, which the doctor was pleased with, but still not completely satisfied with, so he recommended us stay one more day, then leave at 6 that night. So we did....and by the end of that night, his levels were good enough to go home and just have to come back on Friday to check his levels again. Until then we are instructed to keep him in the morning light.

Last night was our first night at home.
Justin's mom and my grandma stayed over for a while, and we were brought dinner by some sweet church friends.
It was actually a pretty peaceful night, as after our family left, Justin took diaper duty while I took breastfeeding duty.
I am loving having a hubby who has stepped up above and beyond the call of duty to help me. He volunteered last night to keep Kaleb in the living room with him to sedate him while he cooed and made sounds, and I stayed in the bedroom to get some much needed sleep. During my hospital stay, I didn't really have much...pretty much averaging about 2 hours a night.

It's been a wonderful ride so far.
And it's just the beginning.
We are so excited about all the Lord has in store, and cannot wait to see how our little one grows and learns.
He is really a very sedate baby - doesn't really cry all that much!
We are wondering if this is the calm before the storm, the honeymoon period...or what!
But....we are looking forward to the ride.
It may have started a little bumpy, but hey, not all great rides are smooth, right? :)
SO excited to see how wonderful this ride is!
Thanks for all the prayers, and beautiful gifts we have received. :) We have wonderful family and friends, and are sooo happy to share Kaleb with you.
Let the FUN begin! :)

Monday, September 20, 2010

40 week appointment!

Well, we are here! And the excitement just continues to build! :)
I haven't really hit the "extremely exhausted" point...which is great...
I have lots of days when I'm SO tired, but none where I am just emotionally drained from this pregnancy or anything like that...which has been SUCH a blessing! I think some of my friends are getting more antsy than I am!
However, that said, I have not been sleeping well just because of the pressure of having a 7 plus pound baby on top of me at night! I am afraid to see how big Kaleb is at this point, but my sanity comes from knowing that he is doing well in there, and still growing great.
I think we may know here pretty soon, because we're going for an ultrasound, among other things, this week - if he doesn't decide to come first!
I had my 40 week doc appointment this morning, and we talked about several things.
He sent me for a nonstress test this morning, which monitored Kaleb's heart rate during contractions, and the frequency of contractions, and whether they were giving him distress. At first, the nurse said he was showing "irritability" during contractions, which basically means that he seemed a little distressed. But...then she had me drink two glasses of water, and had me stay a little longer so she could watch him more. Afterward, she was assured that it wasn't actually during the contractions he was moving so much, so she gave me my "discharge papers". That kind of tickles me because I just went in there for about 35 minutes! I am not sure how many contractions I had while I was there but I did have several - two in a 30 minute time frame - which really isn't all that many. But anyway, the nonstress test went well.
During the doc visit we also discussed me doing another ultrasound this week to see where Kaleb is in his growth. :) I am super excited about that - because I've been dying to know how big he is! I can't wait - it's scheduled for Wednesday at 3:30. That is, if he doesn't decide to come first! :) (which would be fine with momma and daddy)
The last thing we discussed was an induction. My doctor doesn't like to go past 41 weeks with his patients, and next Tuesday will mark 41 weeks for us. So...Justin and I discussed it and we would probably opt for inducing Tuesday of next week. :) :) :) :) Of course, this excites me beyond anything!!! So...if we don't have a baby by then, we will on Tuesday!! (if my doc says it's okay at my 41 week app. on Monday - I have heard he's pretty leanient as far as when you want, so I'm confident he may say yes about Tuesday...he's pretty flexible!)
But...all that to say, I really would like Kaleb to come on his own sweet time. Because I have heard that a baby gives out a hormone that sends a woman into labor once his lungs are completely developed...:) So...come, Kaleb, come!
It's all very exciting though, and we are so ready for him! Just hanging out these days. It's so odd knowing we'll have a baby in our arms so soon!!! SO excited!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I had a dream about you, baby, last night.
What beautiful features you had ~ and such soft skin!
The love I felt was unimaginable ~ it was a love I cannot describe in words.
A love that surpasses understanding, and knowledge.
I wanted you with me all the time - and wouldn't let you out of my sight.
You were so precious ~ every part.
Your little hands were perfect, your little feet so sweet.
I loved dressing you and putting clothes on you and parading you around!

This is what I long for, sweet little one.
Come and play with us - come and be a sweet piece of heaven for us all to see!
You are such a blessing to us already my sweet one.
We have prayed for you, prayed that you would do what the Lord intends for you to do here on earth.
Oh, that all the hopes and dreams He plants in your heart would come to fruition!
We are excited about your journey here, and what you will teach mommie and daddy, and what kind of gifts you will offer this world.

Come, little prince, and be a part of God's creation, and teach us all you have to teach us about life.

You are so welcome here!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

39 weeks and...counting?

Need I say more? Due next Tuesday!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

And...the waiting game begins

So....we've officially hit the 39 week mark.
Exactly one week til this little bundle is due and we are excited, anxious, nervous, thrilled, and...all the emotions that go along with knowing we are about to bring a new life into this world.
Our doctor's appointment went very well yesterday - no big news though!
My doctor, Dr. Rakov, checked me (because I asked him to - he did it graciously because normally he doesn't like to do that - in case of infection or whatever...but I was stubborn because I can't wait to know what is happening!) to see how things are progressing.
According to him, I am not even a cm dilated yet, so we have a bit of a ways to go...which could mean any day now, or could mean a week or two from now...Lol.
You just never know with these sweet little ones how things are going to go, because every pregnancy is different, and every baby is different.
But I am actually at peace at the moment. Ask me a few hours from now and I may tell you different, because that's the way things have been going lately..emotionally, anyway! :) But...I was telling sweet Kaleb today that he can come whenever he wants to, and not to give in to peer pressure out here from everyone! :) (Including me...:) I really am honestly okay with waiting, if that is what is best for Kaleb, and at this point, looks like it is.
I have been having some pretty strong contractions lately, and that does give me hope that he is coming sooner rather than later. But...like I said, if he wants to, he can wait til next week. Because I read somewhere that babies who stay in the womb at least 40 weeks are said to generally be healthier than those born earlier. I don't know how accurate the study was, but it makes sense to me...I mean, it is considered completely "full term". So...we shall see.
My "peace" about him not coming yet might also stem from my anxiety about giving birth too...Lol. In fact, I know it is. The unknown is SO scary to me!
Plus pregnancy has been wonderful, and I love the feeling of his little kicks and squirms...I could just sit and let him move around all day long and just enjoy the sheer fact of knowing he's in there growing...and doing well. I am nervous about knowing what to do with him when he gets here! :) I am sure this is normal too, but can't help it! I want to be the best mommie I can be, and I pray that I am.
My sweet sister in law, Shelly, gave me a verse today that blesses my heart...
"A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world." John 16:20
Reading it was reassuring, and makes me feel better!
I think that some of my anxiety about the whole birth process is worrying that I may not be in complete control, and I have to give that to the Lord. Really, I have noticed that about myself - I like to be in control...and when I'm not, it does make me anxious! I just have to give that to the Lord and know that He is in control, and that He knows best! Whatever happens during the birthing process will be okay. I am getting an epidural, and maybe that will help.
So...this waiting game is interesting. So many thoughts and emotions go into it.
Of course, there is the emotion that stands out amongst them all - and that is the joy of knowing the outcome of the pain and suffering a woman goes through during labor - as Shelly said - the birth of the sweet, sweet baby. I can't wait for our Kaleb to arrive so I can kiss his nose, play with his little feet I always feel in my belly, and touch his sweet fingers. I can't wait to hold him and be there for him when he's sad, and when he's happy. Soooo fun and exciting, and yet a good challenge, I'm sure.

For so long I've dreamt of these last few weeks, and now, they have come upon us.
As I sit here and type, feeling Kaleb's sweet hiccups in my tummy, I look forward to the days ahead.
We will make sure we post lots of pics on here and on Facebook. Hopefully we'll have access to Facebook and the internet in the hospital.
Thanks for listening to me ramble, and I look forward to providing you with a sweet face, instead of my big belly pics! :)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Got the pedi...now I'm ready! :) Didn't want to go too wild but I really wanted flowers. :)

I am having LOTS of heartburn tonight so I'm hoping that means our little guy has some hair. :)

We will find out!
Wiggles has a friend this week! :) We are taking care of his sort of "uncle" for a few days while Justin's parents go out of town. He is so excited to have another playmate besides Tiger (our kitty who adopted us a few months ago!). He does like Tiger's food...however. :) I will post a pic of Tiger when we get the chance. He's very cute.

Speaking of kitties...I had the strangest dream last night! SOOOO weird!
I haven't had too many pregnant dreams so far, like so many people do, and was kind of sad about that! As in pregnant dreams, I mean, dreaming about the baby, what they will look like, etc. I'm not sure why...just haven't! Not that I don't spend my days dreaming about Kaleb and what he'll look like...just not my nights!

But last night was different...

I dreamt that I fell asleep, and went through labor during my sleep, and woke up, and he'd been born!...Except Kaleb looked a little different than I'd pictured....He was a cat!

Lol. SO bizarre! What in the world does that mean?

Just thought I would share the randomness!

Oh, and had my 38 week doc appointment this week. All went well. We are "ready for launch"! :)

Time will tell when Kaleb wants to come...:)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Blessings in disguise

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

ALL of God's promises are "Yes" and "Amen".

This picture was taken outside our back door the night a dear friend of ours lost their newborn baby, exactly one week ago today.

Sarah and I have been friends for not very long - we met in Sunday School class about a year ago, and then this last December, found out the best news of our lives - we were going to have babies! And what was cool was that they were just going to be about two weeks apart! We quickly bonded over emails about our little ones progress.

She found out first, of course, and shared the blessed news on Facebook and in class. I shared with her first, before going public. Didn't want to share too early, and I felt confident that she wouldn't share with anyone, but she was a pregnant friend! :) - Someone that I could lean on, talk with about all the joyous and not so joyous moments of pregnancy, and then, later on, have to lean on as we went through the joys of having children the same age.

We sent emails to each other about feeling nauseas yet SO hungry at the same time, thighs getting larger, emotions running high, cravings....and those first few "flutters".
"Have you felt your baby move yet?" she asked me around 18 weeks or so.
I responded with, "Well, I think so..but maybe not! It might have just been gas!"

We talked about how good Mcdonald's tasted, and how we'd never been big hamburger or fry eaters til now! Protein was something we both loved throughout the whole time.

Then...she found out she was having a boy! And, about three weeks later I found out I was having a boy! So...the fun continued. We began talking names, and she and her husband Chet decided on Holden Newell, and Justin and I decided on Kaleb Lee. The coolest part was that we were the ONLY ones having boys right now in our class - several other ladies had found out they were pregnant too, or had just had little ones in the last few months, and all of them were girls! We were proud of our little boys! Surely Holden and Kaleb would be friends, we decided. They would have to be!

Then, of course, there were all the fun pictures of the rooms...it seems she would blog about Holden's room one week, then the next week I'd blog about Kaleb's! She would blog about how they had gotten something for Holden, then one week later, I'd say the same thing about Kaleb...We were pretty much on the same exact time schedule, and...needless to say, it was fun!

We also talked about childcare, and what we were each going to do. I ended up deciding on staying home for a little while, at least until Kaleb gets big enough to go to school. She had gone back and forth, and was having a hard time finding anyone steady. She even asked Justin and I at a time, if we were interested...knowing the responsibility of taking care of two newborns was large. She told us not to worry at all about it - that Holden would be in the best hands possible, regardless of what decision we made. The Lord would make sure of that. She continued to hold true to this even after we decided it would not be best if we were the babysitters for her sweet Holden. She knew God had it in His Hand, and continued to remain faithful about this, reminding us that He was in control.

But then Sarah started contracting early. She had to go in for routine appointments to check on Holden's heart, and to monitor him for any signs of complication or distress. We prayed for her and Chet and Holden, and that he would decide that being in the womb was more important than in the world yet.

Well, as the weeks progressed, so did Sarah and my bellies! She continued to remind me that I was "beautiful" pregnant, and she was too! She just had this cute little belly, and I felt like mine was monstrous!

Then, August 26th came, and we were able to compare our bellies, and more of our stories. Sarah and I are part of a Bunko group we go to each month, and I was just able to actually join this last month and be a permanent part of it. Up til now I had only substituted. We talked about how big we felt, and how ready we were to have our little ones, and how ready we were to be able to not only exercise again, but, let alone, to walk! :) She also asked me, "Does Kaleb jump around a lot when there's a lot of noise?"
Bunko's pretty noisy sometimes - especially our group!
I laughed and said, "Well, not too much. He's just active anyway! But I haven't noticed a difference in noise or no noise."
"Well, Holden does," she said.
Smart little cookie!
We then excitedly talked about our little ones and how they were due to make their arrival anytime now!!
I would say, "I'm so excited for you!"
Then she'd respond with, "I'm so excited for you too!"

Well, Holden decided to make his entrance into the world on Saturday, August 28th, 2010, 7 weeks after he had tried to make his appearance early. Sarah began contracting early that morning, all the while feeling the kicks and squirms of his sweet little body. Until later.

The same day he came into the world, Holden left this world to be with his Heavenly Father. He died that day inside of Sarah's womb. He was born later that evening, and Sarah and Chet were able to hold him for five hours before seeing him for the last time they will ever see him until that glorious day in heaven when they shall meet again.

Doctors say they think it was the umbilical cord that snapped during a hard contraction - it was short, and it was something that happens very, very rarely.

His funeral was on the Tuesday after he was born, and he had the most beautiful little blue casket. Over 75 people went to show their love and support to Sarah and Chet and little Holden. There were tears from heaven that day during the funeral - as a gentle rain fell during the song, "Amazing Grace" - the first day we'd seen rain in a while.

Later on there came a rainbow in the sky.

The theme during the funeral was one of joy and sorrow - joy, being that Holden was now with his Heavenly Father - the best hands he could ever be in - the best babysitter there ever was or ever will be. And, of course, he will only know joy - the joy of heaven, the joy of being in Jesus' arms.

Holden's life has touched more people's lives than some people's lives touch in a fully lived 80 plus years.

Because his parents know a God who is the best babysitter anyone could ever have.

Even though Kaleb and Holden will not know each other here on earth, I do know they will one day meet in heaven, very possibly, and maybe then they can start their friendship.

Every kick I feel, every move he makes inside of me now, is even more precious than before. He is the biggest twinkle in my eye, and more special than ever. I treasure every move he makes, and even the pain I feel in my ribs because of his little feet makes me smile.

You never know what treasures you have until they are gone from your life, like the twinkling of an eye.

Holden Newell will always be their child - as Chet and Sarah have mentioned since that tragic day he made his way into the arms of the Saviour so early. They are parents who know their little one is in the best arms ever possible...and always will be.

Thank you, Lord, for blessings in disguise. And for reminding us that life is precious...and so short.

We love you Sarah and Chet, and precious Holden.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


So I KNOW I've posted a bunch about Kaleb's room...but I feel like we've gotten finished! :) Praise the Lord!
I truly feel like we are getting ready for this sweet one to arrive! The only things I have left to do are...really not that important, but just small funny things like...this is so materialistic of me...but to get a pedicure and my hair done. Lol. Like that matters huh! But...would be nice to get some pampering before sweet one arrives. We shall see!
We were 37 weeks as of yesterday, and really, would not mind if Kaleb decided to make his entrance soon. At the doctor's office, my doc keeps telling me, "You're the poster child for a perfect pregnancy." Hmmm...and I laugh and tell him, "Well, let's not say that just yet....I hope it's the same for delivery!"
Cleaned out the Blazer yesterday...well, I can't take credit for that either. My sweet husband did it while I was at a bible study. He even shampooed the carpets in there for our little guy. Wow. :) It's times like these you realize how much you love your hubby!
It is getting increasingly harder to sleep at night. I SO look forward to sleeping normally again (as in position, not amount, because I'm not counting on that!:) Right now the pillows I have around me at night equal to about five. That's just to try to get comfortable. Poor Justin!
Well guess I will go for now...The excitement just continues...:)