Blessings in disguise

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

ALL of God's promises are "Yes" and "Amen".

This picture was taken outside our back door the night a dear friend of ours lost their newborn baby, exactly one week ago today.

Sarah and I have been friends for not very long - we met in Sunday School class about a year ago, and then this last December, found out the best news of our lives - we were going to have babies! And what was cool was that they were just going to be about two weeks apart! We quickly bonded over emails about our little ones progress.

She found out first, of course, and shared the blessed news on Facebook and in class. I shared with her first, before going public. Didn't want to share too early, and I felt confident that she wouldn't share with anyone, but she was a pregnant friend! :) - Someone that I could lean on, talk with about all the joyous and not so joyous moments of pregnancy, and then, later on, have to lean on as we went through the joys of having children the same age.

We sent emails to each other about feeling nauseas yet SO hungry at the same time, thighs getting larger, emotions running high, cravings....and those first few "flutters".
"Have you felt your baby move yet?" she asked me around 18 weeks or so.
I responded with, "Well, I think so..but maybe not! It might have just been gas!"

We talked about how good Mcdonald's tasted, and how we'd never been big hamburger or fry eaters til now! Protein was something we both loved throughout the whole time.

Then...she found out she was having a boy! And, about three weeks later I found out I was having a boy! So...the fun continued. We began talking names, and she and her husband Chet decided on Holden Newell, and Justin and I decided on Kaleb Lee. The coolest part was that we were the ONLY ones having boys right now in our class - several other ladies had found out they were pregnant too, or had just had little ones in the last few months, and all of them were girls! We were proud of our little boys! Surely Holden and Kaleb would be friends, we decided. They would have to be!

Then, of course, there were all the fun pictures of the rooms...it seems she would blog about Holden's room one week, then the next week I'd blog about Kaleb's! She would blog about how they had gotten something for Holden, then one week later, I'd say the same thing about Kaleb...We were pretty much on the same exact time schedule, and...needless to say, it was fun!

We also talked about childcare, and what we were each going to do. I ended up deciding on staying home for a little while, at least until Kaleb gets big enough to go to school. She had gone back and forth, and was having a hard time finding anyone steady. She even asked Justin and I at a time, if we were interested...knowing the responsibility of taking care of two newborns was large. She told us not to worry at all about it - that Holden would be in the best hands possible, regardless of what decision we made. The Lord would make sure of that. She continued to hold true to this even after we decided it would not be best if we were the babysitters for her sweet Holden. She knew God had it in His Hand, and continued to remain faithful about this, reminding us that He was in control.

But then Sarah started contracting early. She had to go in for routine appointments to check on Holden's heart, and to monitor him for any signs of complication or distress. We prayed for her and Chet and Holden, and that he would decide that being in the womb was more important than in the world yet.

Well, as the weeks progressed, so did Sarah and my bellies! She continued to remind me that I was "beautiful" pregnant, and she was too! She just had this cute little belly, and I felt like mine was monstrous!

Then, August 26th came, and we were able to compare our bellies, and more of our stories. Sarah and I are part of a Bunko group we go to each month, and I was just able to actually join this last month and be a permanent part of it. Up til now I had only substituted. We talked about how big we felt, and how ready we were to have our little ones, and how ready we were to be able to not only exercise again, but, let alone, to walk! :) She also asked me, "Does Kaleb jump around a lot when there's a lot of noise?"
Bunko's pretty noisy sometimes - especially our group!
I laughed and said, "Well, not too much. He's just active anyway! But I haven't noticed a difference in noise or no noise."
"Well, Holden does," she said.
Smart little cookie!
We then excitedly talked about our little ones and how they were due to make their arrival anytime now!!
I would say, "I'm so excited for you!"
Then she'd respond with, "I'm so excited for you too!"

Well, Holden decided to make his entrance into the world on Saturday, August 28th, 2010, 7 weeks after he had tried to make his appearance early. Sarah began contracting early that morning, all the while feeling the kicks and squirms of his sweet little body. Until later.

The same day he came into the world, Holden left this world to be with his Heavenly Father. He died that day inside of Sarah's womb. He was born later that evening, and Sarah and Chet were able to hold him for five hours before seeing him for the last time they will ever see him until that glorious day in heaven when they shall meet again.

Doctors say they think it was the umbilical cord that snapped during a hard contraction - it was short, and it was something that happens very, very rarely.

His funeral was on the Tuesday after he was born, and he had the most beautiful little blue casket. Over 75 people went to show their love and support to Sarah and Chet and little Holden. There were tears from heaven that day during the funeral - as a gentle rain fell during the song, "Amazing Grace" - the first day we'd seen rain in a while.

Later on there came a rainbow in the sky.

The theme during the funeral was one of joy and sorrow - joy, being that Holden was now with his Heavenly Father - the best hands he could ever be in - the best babysitter there ever was or ever will be. And, of course, he will only know joy - the joy of heaven, the joy of being in Jesus' arms.

Holden's life has touched more people's lives than some people's lives touch in a fully lived 80 plus years.

Because his parents know a God who is the best babysitter anyone could ever have.

Even though Kaleb and Holden will not know each other here on earth, I do know they will one day meet in heaven, very possibly, and maybe then they can start their friendship.

Every kick I feel, every move he makes inside of me now, is even more precious than before. He is the biggest twinkle in my eye, and more special than ever. I treasure every move he makes, and even the pain I feel in my ribs because of his little feet makes me smile.

You never know what treasures you have until they are gone from your life, like the twinkling of an eye.

Holden Newell will always be their child - as Chet and Sarah have mentioned since that tragic day he made his way into the arms of the Saviour so early. They are parents who know their little one is in the best arms ever possible...and always will be.

Thank you, Lord, for blessings in disguise. And for reminding us that life is precious...and so short.

We love you Sarah and Chet, and precious Holden.