Okay, so I really need to go to bed. But...Kaleb is sleeping, and I haven't posted in sooo long!
The holidays have been wonderful.
We spent them with Kaleb's granny, with Nana, with Opa and Oma, and with Kaleb's aunt and uncle Shelly and Whitley and his cousins Isaac, Abigail, Andrew and David. It has been SO fun!
We got him his first ornament, and everyone in our family spoiled us along with him! He got an activity gym, and lots and lots of toys! :) We are feeling a bit overwhelmed with the generosity the season has brought. What a blessing it is to have such wonderful family! My mom, of course, with this being her first Christmas with a new grandbaby, went crazy in Barnes and Noble. I never imagined they would have SO many cute things for kiddos there, but they do!
Justin and I are thoroughly entertained by Kaleb's new toys, as well! I think I enjoy them as much as Kaleb is! (Maybe even more so at the moment!)
He is learning SO much.
He is always constantly looking around, observing everything, and his smile just lights up any room. I am pretty sure I got his first real laugh out of him the other day...it of course, brought tears to mommy's eyes! (I think he's going to get confused because every time he does something new like that, mommy cries...!)
There is just nothing like being a parent. There are no words to describe the joy.
Even when Kaleb is crying and I can't figure out what's wrong, life is wonderful. I love his cuddles, his coos and even his cry.
I told my mom the other day that I cannot wait to see his little personality come out and shine. She told me to just enjoy these times too.
Sometimes it's hard when he's colicky (still) and when he's upset, but really, the good times are really what we'll remember anyway. I just have to remind myself of that when he's been screaming! :)
I have started feeding him more often, and more formula along with breastmilk too. (doctors orders) I do believe he has started filling out a little more recently, and that makes me so happy. He even feels heavier to me!
He still gets pretty gassy but that's okay. I think that will pass with time. And me learning what he can have and what he can't have. Spit-up, and lots of it, has also become a normal part of life that I know he'll outgrow too.
I was thinking the other day that at this time next year, he'll be toddling around, probably trying to get his hands on anything and everything he can, including ornaments and you name it! What FUN that will be to follow him around! In some ways I can't wait!
Well, guess we better go....actually try and get some sleep before he wakes again!
Me and my lil' man...:) 
"Hey, there's that big thing they shove in my face again..." 
"Hahaha...and there's that funny man again..."
"He makes as many funny faces as I do..."
"But I sure do love him..."
"He's kind of odd...Hey, that's mine!"
Oh, we are having a blast being parents. It's great! Can you tell?
Each day is a new adventure. I can't write long, but Kaleb had his two month check up today. Momma cried as he got his shots (FOUR!). I can't believe they do that many at once! But oh well.
He cried really hard during the last one, as the nurse said, "This one hurts the most."
Yeah, I could tell! And so could my boy!
We talked to the doc about several of our concerns.
One is that Kaleb has not been gaining weight as much as we'd like.
He's at 9 pounds, 2 ounces. But he was born at 8! So....we were a bit worried.
And Dr. Rakov said that his weight is a little low. He'd like to see babies gain at least a pound a month. But anyway, he asked about our feeding, and I told him I had been strictly breastfeeding until recently. I have been increasing the feedings I do, and giving him a bit of formula on the side just the last few days. I am so hoping this helps! We are going to try Similac for sensitive tummies to see if it works. He gets really gassy even on breastmilk and tends to cry a lot, so we'll try the anti-gas kind of formula!
Also, we were a bit concerned about acid reflux. He chokes quite a bit, and spits up a lot. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I have to grab him up real fast (he's in a bassinet next to our bed) because I can hear him choking and I'm worried that one night he won't be able to catch his breath!
Rakov said this is fairly normal - there are lots of things we can do to try and fix it. One was to kind of elevate him after feedings. But that's hard, especially if he nurses to sleep. So...he said he'd prescribe him a med for it that I can't think of the name for right now...(mommie brain!) Starts with a T. But anyway...Doc said that his esophageal sphincter (sp??) is still immature, and therefore food comes back up pretty easily into his esophagus, causing frequent spitting up, and choking. Sad!
Hopefully, between the meds, and the formula, and the more frequent feedings, we will help this little guy get what he needs.
I just want to make sure he gets all that he needs.
He is still crying a lot, but I kind of see these new things to try as a ray of hope...Some days I decide to cry after he's been crying for hours at a time! It's sometimes exhausting!
But I know, too, that this too shall pass. Ecclesiastes is my friend! :)
Then again, I am cherishing the happy moments with our little guy. He has a great time in the morning when he is SO smiley!
He has just started being more vocal (and not just crying!) which is awesome and makes us proud! He says "Ahhhh," a lot, and has started (almost!) laughing. I could be wrong, too, but I think I've heard hims say things like "Agooo..." more than once now. :) SO fun!!!
The first time he smiled, I will never forget. I had just said, "Are you mommies little man? Yes you are."
That was when he gave me his first real smile. Oh it melted my heart and I got tears in my eyes!
Well, better go...gotta get up at a decent hour and the Lord knows Kaleb will be up a bit tonight. I am hoping so much that he's not in too much pain the next few days from the shots!
Okay....I admit it! I'm so excited about poop right now!
The last few weeks have been a bit of a challenge with us and poop.
You see, there hasn't been any!
One day Kaleb just decided he didn't want to poop anymore and mommie and daddy had to help him do it every other day by giving him a suppository! Yuck!
We had called the doctor about it and that's what they suggested....so we had to do it.
Was NO FUN!
For any of us...
But...today...dun dun dun...there is poop!!!
And lots of it....Kaleb decided he could do it on his own again!
Let's just see if it continues...:)
Momma really hopes so!
Grandma...
In only one way, I wish you were here, and that is so I could tell you how special you always were to me.
But, now, in no pain, I trust that you can hear me in heaven better than you could here on earth anyway.
And so I sit here and write a letter on the computer to you to somehow give you honor.
There are so many things that I think of when I think of you. Here are just a minor few things of the many things you were to me...
You were my "second mom."
You were my nanny. You kept me every day, while mama went to school and worked. I would play in your big backyard, pretending I was on an adventure! During this time you taught me how to water the garden.
To this day I love gardening because of you.
You taught me that when I sprayed the plants with the water hose and they "danced," that meant they liked the water! :)
You were my "encourager."
When I was tiny, you noticed my love for kitties.
You were always buying me a new cat ceramic to add to the collection you had started for me...even when I stopped collecting (or never really started...but you made sure I had a collection!:).
And as I grew, you taught me that it was okay to be "me".
Find my passion, was what you told me - in less words than that - but I could always sense it when you talked to me, and through your love. I didn't need to worry about what others were doing...what did I want? What would make Amber happy? That was what I always knew you wanted for me.
And I found them.
You bought me books, and I began to love reading.
You bought me journals, and it was at your house and the hours I spent there writing, that I realized that I wanted to become a writer. I remember telling you that.
I would write story after story in my room at your house in the country - my inspiration.
And you were always so impressed with them.
You were my confidant.
When the teenage years were hard, and I didn't feel I could talk with mom and dad...who would I run to?
You were always a listening ear.
And although sometimes I didn't like your advice, I always knew it was the best.
When I had questions, I knew who would tell me what I needed to hear.
It was you.
You were my inspiration.
Your words were God inspired, and through them, I learned from the best.
You were so involved in church, and you knew the Word.
And when I was questioning, I knew who to ask the hard questions.
Most of all, you were my mentor.
When you got so sick, I felt like I lost my best friend.
That is why I write this.
You were so special to so many, and so loved.
So many lost their best friend, and their mentor the day you fell ill...
We were so worried you would pass then, when you went into a coma that fateful day in April '06.
But you surprised us all and gave us four more years!
It has been a rough four years for us though, and you fought a long, hard battle.
You had a heart attack, then a stroke the same week, and you were never quite the same from then on.
You had to go through some tough, tough times, losing your leg, being paralyzed, and in a wheelchair, among many, many other things.
Being stuck in a nursing home in a bed was one of the hardest things you have ever had to go through, I am sure.
You were SO, SO strong, though.
And the nurses were impressed.
Some of them fell in love with you.
They admired you for who you were, and your strength, and your love, despite all of the trials you were going through, and admired you so much that they cried while tending to your body when you passed.
You were a blessing to many, grandma.
Although at the very end you didn't understand it all, you were still so loved.
We will miss you.
Until we meet again.
I will always love you, and can't wait for that glorious day when, along with Jesus, you will welcome me into heaven with those open arms you've always had.
