Okay, so I really need to go to bed. But...Kaleb is sleeping, and I haven't posted in sooo long!
The holidays have been wonderful.
We spent them with Kaleb's granny, with Nana, with Opa and Oma, and with Kaleb's aunt and uncle Shelly and Whitley and his cousins Isaac, Abigail, Andrew and David. It has been SO fun!
We got him his first ornament, and everyone in our family spoiled us along with him! He got an activity gym, and lots and lots of toys! :) We are feeling a bit overwhelmed with the generosity the season has brought. What a blessing it is to have such wonderful family! My mom, of course, with this being her first Christmas with a new grandbaby, went crazy in Barnes and Noble. I never imagined they would have SO many cute things for kiddos there, but they do!
Justin and I are thoroughly entertained by Kaleb's new toys, as well! I think I enjoy them as much as Kaleb is! (Maybe even more so at the moment!)
He is learning SO much.
He is always constantly looking around, observing everything, and his smile just lights up any room. I am pretty sure I got his first real laugh out of him the other day...it of course, brought tears to mommy's eyes! (I think he's going to get confused because every time he does something new like that, mommy cries...!)
There is just nothing like being a parent. There are no words to describe the joy.
Even when Kaleb is crying and I can't figure out what's wrong, life is wonderful. I love his cuddles, his coos and even his cry.
I told my mom the other day that I cannot wait to see his little personality come out and shine. She told me to just enjoy these times too.
Sometimes it's hard when he's colicky (still) and when he's upset, but really, the good times are really what we'll remember anyway. I just have to remind myself of that when he's been screaming! :)
I have started feeding him more often, and more formula along with breastmilk too. (doctors orders) I do believe he has started filling out a little more recently, and that makes me so happy. He even feels heavier to me!
He still gets pretty gassy but that's okay. I think that will pass with time. And me learning what he can have and what he can't have. Spit-up, and lots of it, has also become a normal part of life that I know he'll outgrow too.
I was thinking the other day that at this time next year, he'll be toddling around, probably trying to get his hands on anything and everything he can, including ornaments and you name it! What FUN that will be to follow him around! In some ways I can't wait!
Well, guess we better go....actually try and get some sleep before he wakes again!
Me and my lil' man...:) 
"Hey, there's that big thing they shove in my face again..." 
"Hahaha...and there's that funny man again..."
"He makes as many funny faces as I do..."
"But I sure do love him..."
"He's kind of odd...Hey, that's mine!"
Oh, we are having a blast being parents. It's great! Can you tell?
Each day is a new adventure. I can't write long, but Kaleb had his two month check up today. Momma cried as he got his shots (FOUR!). I can't believe they do that many at once! But oh well.
He cried really hard during the last one, as the nurse said, "This one hurts the most."
Yeah, I could tell! And so could my boy!
We talked to the doc about several of our concerns.
One is that Kaleb has not been gaining weight as much as we'd like.
He's at 9 pounds, 2 ounces. But he was born at 8! So....we were a bit worried.
And Dr. Rakov said that his weight is a little low. He'd like to see babies gain at least a pound a month. But anyway, he asked about our feeding, and I told him I had been strictly breastfeeding until recently. I have been increasing the feedings I do, and giving him a bit of formula on the side just the last few days. I am so hoping this helps! We are going to try Similac for sensitive tummies to see if it works. He gets really gassy even on breastmilk and tends to cry a lot, so we'll try the anti-gas kind of formula!
Also, we were a bit concerned about acid reflux. He chokes quite a bit, and spits up a lot. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I have to grab him up real fast (he's in a bassinet next to our bed) because I can hear him choking and I'm worried that one night he won't be able to catch his breath!
Rakov said this is fairly normal - there are lots of things we can do to try and fix it. One was to kind of elevate him after feedings. But that's hard, especially if he nurses to sleep. So...he said he'd prescribe him a med for it that I can't think of the name for right now...(mommie brain!) Starts with a T. But anyway...Doc said that his esophageal sphincter (sp??) is still immature, and therefore food comes back up pretty easily into his esophagus, causing frequent spitting up, and choking. Sad!
Hopefully, between the meds, and the formula, and the more frequent feedings, we will help this little guy get what he needs.
I just want to make sure he gets all that he needs.
He is still crying a lot, but I kind of see these new things to try as a ray of hope...Some days I decide to cry after he's been crying for hours at a time! It's sometimes exhausting!
But I know, too, that this too shall pass. Ecclesiastes is my friend! :)
Then again, I am cherishing the happy moments with our little guy. He has a great time in the morning when he is SO smiley!
He has just started being more vocal (and not just crying!) which is awesome and makes us proud! He says "Ahhhh," a lot, and has started (almost!) laughing. I could be wrong, too, but I think I've heard hims say things like "Agooo..." more than once now. :) SO fun!!!
The first time he smiled, I will never forget. I had just said, "Are you mommies little man? Yes you are."
That was when he gave me his first real smile. Oh it melted my heart and I got tears in my eyes!
Well, better go...gotta get up at a decent hour and the Lord knows Kaleb will be up a bit tonight. I am hoping so much that he's not in too much pain the next few days from the shots!
Okay....I admit it! I'm so excited about poop right now!
The last few weeks have been a bit of a challenge with us and poop.
You see, there hasn't been any!
One day Kaleb just decided he didn't want to poop anymore and mommie and daddy had to help him do it every other day by giving him a suppository! Yuck!
We had called the doctor about it and that's what they suggested....so we had to do it.
Was NO FUN!
For any of us...
But...today...dun dun dun...there is poop!!!
And lots of it....Kaleb decided he could do it on his own again!
Let's just see if it continues...:)
Momma really hopes so!
Grandma...
In only one way, I wish you were here, and that is so I could tell you how special you always were to me.
But, now, in no pain, I trust that you can hear me in heaven better than you could here on earth anyway.
And so I sit here and write a letter on the computer to you to somehow give you honor.
There are so many things that I think of when I think of you. Here are just a minor few things of the many things you were to me...
You were my "second mom."
You were my nanny. You kept me every day, while mama went to school and worked. I would play in your big backyard, pretending I was on an adventure! During this time you taught me how to water the garden.
To this day I love gardening because of you.
You taught me that when I sprayed the plants with the water hose and they "danced," that meant they liked the water! :)
You were my "encourager."
When I was tiny, you noticed my love for kitties.
You were always buying me a new cat ceramic to add to the collection you had started for me...even when I stopped collecting (or never really started...but you made sure I had a collection!:).
And as I grew, you taught me that it was okay to be "me".
Find my passion, was what you told me - in less words than that - but I could always sense it when you talked to me, and through your love. I didn't need to worry about what others were doing...what did I want? What would make Amber happy? That was what I always knew you wanted for me.
And I found them.
You bought me books, and I began to love reading.
You bought me journals, and it was at your house and the hours I spent there writing, that I realized that I wanted to become a writer. I remember telling you that.
I would write story after story in my room at your house in the country - my inspiration.
And you were always so impressed with them.
You were my confidant.
When the teenage years were hard, and I didn't feel I could talk with mom and dad...who would I run to?
You were always a listening ear.
And although sometimes I didn't like your advice, I always knew it was the best.
When I had questions, I knew who would tell me what I needed to hear.
It was you.
You were my inspiration.
Your words were God inspired, and through them, I learned from the best.
You were so involved in church, and you knew the Word.
And when I was questioning, I knew who to ask the hard questions.
Most of all, you were my mentor.
When you got so sick, I felt like I lost my best friend.
That is why I write this.
You were so special to so many, and so loved.
So many lost their best friend, and their mentor the day you fell ill...
We were so worried you would pass then, when you went into a coma that fateful day in April '06.
But you surprised us all and gave us four more years!
It has been a rough four years for us though, and you fought a long, hard battle.
You had a heart attack, then a stroke the same week, and you were never quite the same from then on.
You had to go through some tough, tough times, losing your leg, being paralyzed, and in a wheelchair, among many, many other things.
Being stuck in a nursing home in a bed was one of the hardest things you have ever had to go through, I am sure.
You were SO, SO strong, though.
And the nurses were impressed.
Some of them fell in love with you.
They admired you for who you were, and your strength, and your love, despite all of the trials you were going through, and admired you so much that they cried while tending to your body when you passed.
You were a blessing to many, grandma.
Although at the very end you didn't understand it all, you were still so loved.
We will miss you.
Until we meet again.
I will always love you, and can't wait for that glorious day when, along with Jesus, you will welcome me into heaven with those open arms you've always had.
Peaceful sleepy time...(No worries...we don't normally let him sleep like this under the sheets without lots of supervision!:) 
Our baby's first Halloween! The outfit was a bit big, but it's okay! We got it from a precious friend, Megan! :) 
Momma loves this hat! :) 
Just hangin out in my dino jammies...
And our first family pic! Fun fun! So...the first month has been...let's see...exhausting...fun...crazy...BUSY...exhilarating...breathtaking...emotion-packed...did I mention exhausting?
Oh yeah...I did.
Wow.
I cannot get over how one sweet little innocent 8 pound person can take so much work! Lol.
I mean, he's just 8 pounds!
The laundry has sat in heaps for days. When we have company over, which we love by the way, don't get me wrong! :) But..when we have company, it gets tossed into Kaleb's crib and we stay in the living room so maybe they won't see it!
Dishes pile up in the sink and bits of food get like permanently stuck on them because they sit there for so long.
Up til this week, the carpets had not seen a vacuum for six weeks. Yep. That's right.
And I HATE dirty floors. I feel like having a dirty floor makes the whole house look dirty, even if it's not!
My plants were even starting to wilt.
We also have wasps.
I know many people have them, if not all...and the West Texas area has been pretty much plagued with them recently. Just like every year we get plagued with some kind of crazy bug....I just wish it wasn't wasps this year.
I have called the laundry room a "wasp cemetery" this week, because that is what it is. After we took six cans of wasp spray to it.
We left the door open for Wiggles, our pug, to get in and out...and that was a BIG mistake with all the wasps. They made it their home. Literally. And we kicked Wiggles out of there. Needless to say he hangs out on the porch now.
Tomorrow that is my goal - to tackle that room. Yuck.
That is...if I get any time...:)
And on top of all this I have a spare tire!
Lol.
I have never had excess fat around the middle...not to say that I haven't worked out a lot and kept it off that way...but really...I have never been this flabby in my life.
So I need to work out again...I am looking forward to the next visit to the doc when maybe he will tell me it's okay to begin exercise again. It's been almost six weeks since my C-section. So I think we're pretty much there.
I also feel bad because I think we are going to have to find another home for our sweet puppy who's not a puppy anymore (Wigglesworth).
I have loved him since the day we got him (at the mall...:) almost three years ago. I had always wanted a pug, and I fell in love as soon as Justin said, "Yes, you may have him."
Scooped him up in my arms and didn't let him go!
I mommied him and taught him how to sit, stay, come, shake, to name a few things. He was so smart! He learned in just a day how to do each of these things (not all in one day but each thing I taught him, he'd learn in just a day!).
But mommie doesn't have time for him anymore...and daddy is always at work too.
So Wiggles howls.
That is his new thing.
He sits outside and just howls.
And it breaks my mommie heart!
So...we are going to have to find a new home for the little guy.
We are going to put him in the paper soon, and maybe we'll find someone to love on him the way he needs to be loved.
He really is a very, very good dog.
I, on the other hand, will not be able to watch as he leaves. This is a Justin task!
It just gets old when Kaleb is crying, and Wiggles joins him...it's like they have crying contests! Wiggles howls, and Kaleb joins him....and then Kaleb fusses, then Wiggles joins him even louder.
Makes mommie want to boo hoo too!
So...all of this to say...the last month has been interesting.
But...you know, as they say, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
No, seriously, it really is true.
Despite the hard parts, having a child is the BEST thing in the entire world.
I would not trade Kaleb's smile for a clean house if my life depended on it....he IS my world right now. He is everything to me besides my hubby, and to me, the best of both of us.
He does have colic, and that is another story.
But he has his good times - especially in the morning. After he's been fed in the morning, and I am changing him on his table, he just stares at himself in the mirror, and I think...I saw his first smile the other day. It was the best moment ever...I had just said, "Aren't you mommie's little man? Yes, you are..." :)
That made all of the dirty laundry, all the dirty dishes, and all the wasps just disappear from my mind.
He is SO precious.
He is also becoming more alert every day...starting to make little sounds that are not just cries, but little coo's, and little "ahh's".
Even his cry is music to mommie's ears. I have memorized the way it sounds. He starts small, and builds...:) He also grunts a lot!
The first few weeks have been priceless. Painful (as any mom with a C-section knows!...or any mom knows, for that matter!) but priceless!
I would go to sleep, and dream about Kaleb, then wake up with his warm little body right next to mine, hearing his peaceful breathing.
(The "family bed" has been kind of a controversy with us but we have decided on it for the time being because it's the only way to get him to sleep sometimes!)
There really is no way to describe it.:)
No matter how hard, it is "love" in the best form I know.
And I wouldn't trade this time for anything.
I do have a new best friend, though, and it's name is coffee! :)
Well...it's official. We are parents.
Wow.
What a ride it has been so far!
The ride started bumpy...with a 21 hour labor, then after pushing for 1 1/2 hours with no success, producing an 8 pound baby with a C-section.
We saw the Lord's hand in this, though, as we were told soon that if we had not had a C-section, it might have been a bad situation, because the cord had been wrapped around our baby's neck.
His first cry was the most wonderful sound I have EVER heard. Of course we cried tears of joy when the doctors brought him to my side. What an amazing sight!
Eight pounds of beauty.
I was wheeled into the recovery room while friends and family waited outside to greet our precious gift, and then out after a while, to spend time with our new delight.
He was everything I had imagined, and more!
He had his daddies big feet, and big hands! He had my eyes, and daddies chin and mouth...and we are really not sure where that nose came from!
His hair was dark, but there wasn't much of it!
We loved on him for a bit, and I tried nursing, then the nurses took him.
And that...was the beginning of our long, beautiful ride. :)
The next day we were greeted by tons of sweet family and friends, who loved on our bundle and ooed and awed.
"What big hands and feet he has!" was a lot of their exclamations!
We couldn't have beamed prouder as they passed him around and smiled, and a sweet friend, Maria, took photos of him.
The next few days were kind of a blur really...as we enjoyed him, and I learned to breastfeed, which...is still in the works. It's getting easier, but it's still a bit of a challenge.
Then, the last day, the day we thought we'd probably make it home, we were informed that our little bundle had jaundice!
So...the nurses informed us we'd probably have to stay another day as outpatients, while our son stayed as a patient.
We actually were kind of thankful, because we were able to hang around and receive more expert advice from the nursing staff, which were awesome, and we are now friends with forever.
Kaleb's biliruben level was at 17 at one point, which our doctor did not like, so he got to hang out under the bili light all day, which he didn't actually mind. He seemed to actually enjoy it - like the light was comforting and warm! The best part was that we still occupied the same room we'd had, and were able to still bond with him thanks to the high tech equipment they have in the hospital we stayed at. They even still provided meals for me.
The next day, when they checked his levels, he was at 13.5, which the doctor was pleased with, but still not completely satisfied with, so he recommended us stay one more day, then leave at 6 that night. So we did....and by the end of that night, his levels were good enough to go home and just have to come back on Friday to check his levels again. Until then we are instructed to keep him in the morning light.
Last night was our first night at home.
Justin's mom and my grandma stayed over for a while, and we were brought dinner by some sweet church friends.
It was actually a pretty peaceful night, as after our family left, Justin took diaper duty while I took breastfeeding duty.
:)
I am loving having a hubby who has stepped up above and beyond the call of duty to help me. He volunteered last night to keep Kaleb in the living room with him to sedate him while he cooed and made sounds, and I stayed in the bedroom to get some much needed sleep. During my hospital stay, I didn't really have much...pretty much averaging about 2 hours a night.
But...
It's been a wonderful ride so far.
And it's just the beginning.
We are so excited about all the Lord has in store, and cannot wait to see how our little one grows and learns.
He is really a very sedate baby - doesn't really cry all that much!
We are wondering if this is the calm before the storm, the honeymoon period...or what!
But....we are looking forward to the ride.
It may have started a little bumpy, but hey, not all great rides are smooth, right? :)
SO excited to see how wonderful this ride is!
Thanks for all the prayers, and beautiful gifts we have received. :) We have wonderful family and friends, and are sooo happy to share Kaleb with you.
Let the FUN begin! :)
Well, we are here! And the excitement just continues to build! :)
I haven't really hit the "extremely exhausted" point...which is great...
I have lots of days when I'm SO tired, but none where I am just emotionally drained from this pregnancy or anything like that...which has been SUCH a blessing! I think some of my friends are getting more antsy than I am!
However, that said, I have not been sleeping well just because of the pressure of having a 7 plus pound baby on top of me at night! I am afraid to see how big Kaleb is at this point, but my sanity comes from knowing that he is doing well in there, and still growing great.
I think we may know here pretty soon, because we're going for an ultrasound, among other things, this week - if he doesn't decide to come first!
I had my 40 week doc appointment this morning, and we talked about several things.
He sent me for a nonstress test this morning, which monitored Kaleb's heart rate during contractions, and the frequency of contractions, and whether they were giving him distress. At first, the nurse said he was showing "irritability" during contractions, which basically means that he seemed a little distressed. But...then she had me drink two glasses of water, and had me stay a little longer so she could watch him more. Afterward, she was assured that it wasn't actually during the contractions he was moving so much, so she gave me my "discharge papers". That kind of tickles me because I just went in there for about 35 minutes! I am not sure how many contractions I had while I was there but I did have several - two in a 30 minute time frame - which really isn't all that many. But anyway, the nonstress test went well.
During the doc visit we also discussed me doing another ultrasound this week to see where Kaleb is in his growth. :) I am super excited about that - because I've been dying to know how big he is! I can't wait - it's scheduled for Wednesday at 3:30. That is, if he doesn't decide to come first! :) (which would be fine with momma and daddy)
The last thing we discussed was an induction. My doctor doesn't like to go past 41 weeks with his patients, and next Tuesday will mark 41 weeks for us. So...Justin and I discussed it and we would probably opt for inducing Tuesday of next week. :) :) :) :) Of course, this excites me beyond anything!!! So...if we don't have a baby by then, we will on Tuesday!! (if my doc says it's okay at my 41 week app. on Monday - I have heard he's pretty leanient as far as when you want, so I'm confident he may say yes about Tuesday...he's pretty flexible!)
But...all that to say, I really would like Kaleb to come on his own sweet time. Because I have heard that a baby gives out a hormone that sends a woman into labor once his lungs are completely developed...:) So...come, Kaleb, come!
It's all very exciting though, and we are so ready for him! Just hanging out these days. It's so odd knowing we'll have a baby in our arms so soon!!! SO excited!
I had a dream about you, baby, last night.
What beautiful features you had ~ and such soft skin!
The love I felt was unimaginable ~ it was a love I cannot describe in words.
A love that surpasses understanding, and knowledge.
I wanted you with me all the time - and wouldn't let you out of my sight.
You were so precious ~ every part.
Your little hands were perfect, your little feet so sweet.
I loved dressing you and putting clothes on you and parading you around!
This is what I long for, sweet little one.
Come and play with us - come and be a sweet piece of heaven for us all to see!
You are such a blessing to us already my sweet one.
We have prayed for you, prayed that you would do what the Lord intends for you to do here on earth.
Oh, that all the hopes and dreams He plants in your heart would come to fruition!
We are excited about your journey here, and what you will teach mommie and daddy, and what kind of gifts you will offer this world.
Come, little prince, and be a part of God's creation, and teach us all you have to teach us about life.
You are so welcome here!
Need I say more? Due next Tuesday!
So....we've officially hit the 39 week mark.
Exactly one week til this little bundle is due and we are excited, anxious, nervous, thrilled, and...all the emotions that go along with knowing we are about to bring a new life into this world.
Our doctor's appointment went very well yesterday - no big news though!
My doctor, Dr. Rakov, checked me (because I asked him to - he did it graciously because normally he doesn't like to do that - in case of infection or whatever...but I was stubborn because I can't wait to know what is happening!) to see how things are progressing.
According to him, I am not even a cm dilated yet, so we have a bit of a ways to go...which could mean any day now, or could mean a week or two from now...Lol.
You just never know with these sweet little ones how things are going to go, because every pregnancy is different, and every baby is different.
But I am actually at peace at the moment. Ask me a few hours from now and I may tell you different, because that's the way things have been going lately..emotionally, anyway! :) But...I was telling sweet Kaleb today that he can come whenever he wants to, and not to give in to peer pressure out here from everyone! :) (Including me...:) I really am honestly okay with waiting, if that is what is best for Kaleb, and at this point, looks like it is.
I have been having some pretty strong contractions lately, and that does give me hope that he is coming sooner rather than later. But...like I said, if he wants to, he can wait til next week. Because I read somewhere that babies who stay in the womb at least 40 weeks are said to generally be healthier than those born earlier. I don't know how accurate the study was, but it makes sense to me...I mean, it is considered completely "full term". So...we shall see.
My "peace" about him not coming yet might also stem from my anxiety about giving birth too...Lol. In fact, I know it is. The unknown is SO scary to me!
Plus pregnancy has been wonderful, and I love the feeling of his little kicks and squirms...I could just sit and let him move around all day long and just enjoy the sheer fact of knowing he's in there growing...and doing well. I am nervous about knowing what to do with him when he gets here! :) I am sure this is normal too, but can't help it! I want to be the best mommie I can be, and I pray that I am.
My sweet sister in law, Shelly, gave me a verse today that blesses my heart..."A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world." John 16:20
Reading it was reassuring, and makes me feel better!
I think that some of my anxiety about the whole birth process is worrying that I may not be in complete control, and I have to give that to the Lord. Really, I have noticed that about myself - I like to be in control...and when I'm not, it does make me anxious! I just have to give that to the Lord and know that He is in control, and that He knows best! Whatever happens during the birthing process will be okay. I am getting an epidural, and maybe that will help.
So...this waiting game is interesting. So many thoughts and emotions go into it.
Of course, there is the emotion that stands out amongst them all - and that is the joy of knowing the outcome of the pain and suffering a woman goes through during labor - as Shelly said - the birth of the sweet, sweet baby. I can't wait for our Kaleb to arrive so I can kiss his nose, play with his little feet I always feel in my belly, and touch his sweet fingers. I can't wait to hold him and be there for him when he's sad, and when he's happy. Soooo fun and exciting, and yet a good challenge, I'm sure.
For so long I've dreamt of these last few weeks, and now, they have come upon us.
As I sit here and type, feeling Kaleb's sweet hiccups in my tummy, I look forward to the days ahead.
We will make sure we post lots of pics on here and on Facebook. Hopefully we'll have access to Facebook and the internet in the hospital.
Thanks for listening to me ramble, and I look forward to providing you with a sweet face, instead of my big belly pics! :)
Got the pedi...now I'm ready! :) Didn't want to go too wild but I really wanted flowers. :)
I am having LOTS of heartburn tonight so I'm hoping that means our little guy has some hair. :)
We will find out!
Wiggles has a friend this week! :) We are taking care of his sort of "uncle" for a few days while Justin's parents go out of town. He is so excited to have another playmate besides Tiger (our kitty who adopted us a few months ago!). He does like Tiger's food...however. :) I will post a pic of Tiger when we get the chance. He's very cute.
Speaking of kitties...I had the strangest dream last night! SOOOO weird!
I haven't had too many pregnant dreams so far, like so many people do, and was kind of sad about that! As in pregnant dreams, I mean, dreaming about the baby, what they will look like, etc. I'm not sure why...just haven't! Not that I don't spend my days dreaming about Kaleb and what he'll look like...just not my nights!
But last night was different...
I dreamt that I fell asleep, and went through labor during my sleep, and woke up, and he'd been born!...Except Kaleb looked a little different than I'd pictured....He was a cat!
Lol. SO bizarre! What in the world does that mean?
Just thought I would share the randomness!
Oh, and had my 38 week doc appointment this week. All went well. We are "ready for launch"! :)
Time will tell when Kaleb wants to come...:)
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
ALL of God's promises are "Yes" and "Amen".
This picture was taken outside our back door the night a dear friend of ours lost their newborn baby, exactly one week ago today.
Sarah and I have been friends for not very long - we met in Sunday School class about a year ago, and then this last December, found out the best news of our lives - we were going to have babies! And what was cool was that they were just going to be about two weeks apart! We quickly bonded over emails about our little ones progress.
She found out first, of course, and shared the blessed news on Facebook and in class. I shared with her first, before going public. Didn't want to share too early, and I felt confident that she wouldn't share with anyone, but she was a pregnant friend! :) - Someone that I could lean on, talk with about all the joyous and not so joyous moments of pregnancy, and then, later on, have to lean on as we went through the joys of having children the same age.
We sent emails to each other about feeling nauseas yet SO hungry at the same time, thighs getting larger, emotions running high, cravings....and those first few "flutters".
"Have you felt your baby move yet?" she asked me around 18 weeks or so.
I responded with, "Well, I think so..but maybe not! It might have just been gas!"
We talked about how good Mcdonald's tasted, and how we'd never been big hamburger or fry eaters til now! Protein was something we both loved throughout the whole time.
Then...she found out she was having a boy! And, about three weeks later I found out I was having a boy! So...the fun continued. We began talking names, and she and her husband Chet decided on Holden Newell, and Justin and I decided on Kaleb Lee. The coolest part was that we were the ONLY ones having boys right now in our class - several other ladies had found out they were pregnant too, or had just had little ones in the last few months, and all of them were girls! We were proud of our little boys! Surely Holden and Kaleb would be friends, we decided. They would have to be!
Then, of course, there were all the fun pictures of the rooms...it seems she would blog about Holden's room one week, then the next week I'd blog about Kaleb's! She would blog about how they had gotten something for Holden, then one week later, I'd say the same thing about Kaleb...We were pretty much on the same exact time schedule, and...needless to say, it was fun!
We also talked about childcare, and what we were each going to do. I ended up deciding on staying home for a little while, at least until Kaleb gets big enough to go to school. She had gone back and forth, and was having a hard time finding anyone steady. She even asked Justin and I at a time, if we were interested...knowing the responsibility of taking care of two newborns was large. She told us not to worry at all about it - that Holden would be in the best hands possible, regardless of what decision we made. The Lord would make sure of that. She continued to hold true to this even after we decided it would not be best if we were the babysitters for her sweet Holden. She knew God had it in His Hand, and continued to remain faithful about this, reminding us that He was in control.
But then Sarah started contracting early. She had to go in for routine appointments to check on Holden's heart, and to monitor him for any signs of complication or distress. We prayed for her and Chet and Holden, and that he would decide that being in the womb was more important than in the world yet.
Well, as the weeks progressed, so did Sarah and my bellies! She continued to remind me that I was "beautiful" pregnant, and she was too! She just had this cute little belly, and I felt like mine was monstrous!
Then, August 26th came, and we were able to compare our bellies, and more of our stories. Sarah and I are part of a Bunko group we go to each month, and I was just able to actually join this last month and be a permanent part of it. Up til now I had only substituted. We talked about how big we felt, and how ready we were to have our little ones, and how ready we were to be able to not only exercise again, but, let alone, to walk! :) She also asked me, "Does Kaleb jump around a lot when there's a lot of noise?"
Bunko's pretty noisy sometimes - especially our group!
I laughed and said, "Well, not too much. He's just active anyway! But I haven't noticed a difference in noise or no noise."
"Well, Holden does," she said.
Smart little cookie!
We then excitedly talked about our little ones and how they were due to make their arrival anytime now!!
I would say, "I'm so excited for you!"
Then she'd respond with, "I'm so excited for you too!"
Well, Holden decided to make his entrance into the world on Saturday, August 28th, 2010, 7 weeks after he had tried to make his appearance early. Sarah began contracting early that morning, all the while feeling the kicks and squirms of his sweet little body. Until later.
The same day he came into the world, Holden left this world to be with his Heavenly Father. He died that day inside of Sarah's womb. He was born later that evening, and Sarah and Chet were able to hold him for five hours before seeing him for the last time they will ever see him until that glorious day in heaven when they shall meet again.
Doctors say they think it was the umbilical cord that snapped during a hard contraction - it was short, and it was something that happens very, very rarely.
His funeral was on the Tuesday after he was born, and he had the most beautiful little blue casket. Over 75 people went to show their love and support to Sarah and Chet and little Holden. There were tears from heaven that day during the funeral - as a gentle rain fell during the song, "Amazing Grace" - the first day we'd seen rain in a while.
Later on there came a rainbow in the sky.
The theme during the funeral was one of joy and sorrow - joy, being that Holden was now with his Heavenly Father - the best hands he could ever be in - the best babysitter there ever was or ever will be. And, of course, he will only know joy - the joy of heaven, the joy of being in Jesus' arms.
Holden's life has touched more people's lives than some people's lives touch in a fully lived 80 plus years.
Because his parents know a God who is the best babysitter anyone could ever have.
Even though Kaleb and Holden will not know each other here on earth, I do know they will one day meet in heaven, very possibly, and maybe then they can start their friendship.
Every kick I feel, every move he makes inside of me now, is even more precious than before. He is the biggest twinkle in my eye, and more special than ever. I treasure every move he makes, and even the pain I feel in my ribs because of his little feet makes me smile.
You never know what treasures you have until they are gone from your life, like the twinkling of an eye.
Holden Newell will always be their child - as Chet and Sarah have mentioned since that tragic day he made his way into the arms of the Saviour so early. They are parents who know their little one is in the best arms ever possible...and always will be.
Thank you, Lord, for blessings in disguise. And for reminding us that life is precious...and so short.
We love you Sarah and Chet, and precious Holden.
So I KNOW I've posted a bunch about Kaleb's room...but I feel like we've gotten finished! :) Praise the Lord!
I truly feel like we are getting ready for this sweet one to arrive! The only things I have left to do are...really not that important, but just small funny things like...this is so materialistic of me...but to get a pedicure and my hair done. Lol. Like that matters huh! But...would be nice to get some pampering before sweet one arrives. We shall see!
We were 37 weeks as of yesterday, and really, would not mind if Kaleb decided to make his entrance soon. At the doctor's office, my doc keeps telling me, "You're the poster child for a perfect pregnancy." Hmmm...and I laugh and tell him, "Well, let's not say that just yet....I hope it's the same for delivery!"
Cleaned out the Blazer yesterday...well, I can't take credit for that either. My sweet husband did it while I was at a bible study. He even shampooed the carpets in there for our little guy. Wow. :) It's times like these you realize how much you love your hubby!
It is getting increasingly harder to sleep at night. I SO look forward to sleeping normally again (as in position, not amount, because I'm not counting on that!:) Right now the pillows I have around me at night equal to about five. That's just to try to get comfortable. Poor Justin!
Well guess I will go for now...The excitement just continues...:)
We are getting to the end of this ride....I'm 36 weeks now and on Tuesday, I'll be 37, considered full term, so anytime I have Kaleb after that will be okay! Wooohooo...weird! We are excited and nervous at the same time, and I cannot WAIT to see what he looks like! Have dreamt about this little one for so long! :)
Well, there's not much time left. I go for my 36 week doc appointment next Monday. Crazy...how time flies.
I can't believe how fast this pregnancy has gone, really. It seems like just yesterday I was calling my sweet sister in law and asking her if it was possible to get a false positive on a pregnancy test! She has had several children ahead of me, and I look to her for lots of answers these days, and that was just the first! :) I remember her saying, "No hunny, it's more likely you'd get a false negative than a false positive...you're pregnant...congratulations!"
And I was like, "Wow...Okay...."
We planned on children, don't get me wrong. But we weren't "trying" necessarily...we'd kind of gotten to that point in our life where we were saying, "Well, we will just stop preventing it and see what happens..."
Needless to say, a month later...well, I was staring at a positive result on a pregnancy test and about to eat dinner...but suddenly dinner didn't sound appealing anymore!
It seems so much has happened since then...lots of transition, tears and emotions go along with the whole pregnancy ride (anxiety mixed with hormones mixed with, "Oh my goodness this is happening...yay....oh wow we have so much to do!"), but the joy...that is the best part of it all, seriously.
We are getting soooo excited about this little bundle. I have spent so much time daydreaming about his little face, his hands, his feet...his life! :)
I only hope that we can raise him in the best way that honors the good Lord. I pray for the wisdom to do so!
I know I've learned a bit since I've been off work, having to "sacrifice" already, not being able to buy the things I normally would...superficial things, such as make up, and hair things...I was talking to a friend today who's also pregnant, and we agreed it's kind of part of the "motherhood" process...starting to learn how to buy for our little one, and not for ourselves. It's a very good lesson to learn - one that I think everyone needs.
I look forward to more of it, though, in a weird sort of way. I can't wait to "give" of my time, effort, money, etc., for this sweet little bundle. I know some day he may turn on us and decide that he doesn't like us (like in his teens!) but...it'll all be worth it. This start of life is a new relationship, a new love, a new lifetime of love, no matter what happens!
So...all that to say, Kaleb is coming soon. And at this point, it's honestly kind of a waiting and watching game....we only have a few more things we need to do, and they are small. He needs a lamp in his room, and a changing pad with a cover. He also needs a few more crib sheets, and maybe a mobile. :) And we might steam the carpets one more time...But for the most part, I think we are almost ready.
Can't wait to see what happens next. Pretty soon I will start going once a week to the doc. Exciting!
Won't be long before we hold that sweet little boy in our arms! Woohoo!
Soooo...there have been so many fun days since this pregnancy began!! We cannot express our gratitude to all the wonderful, godly people who have helped us get ready for our Kaleb to come. I know it's just a glimpse of things to come, because he's the biggest blessing out of everything, and the best gift we could ever receive from the Lord. So excited. Here are just a few of the many pictures my sweet hostesses took at the shower!
Aren't these adorable? They were little feet sugar cookies made by my great friend and hostess, Stacy Haley! There were so many cute finger foods.
Me, and my sweet mom in law Linda, and sis in law, Shelly!
Me in front of the yummies and the cute diaper cake with my mom and grandma. :) 
These were all my 10 hostesses! From left is Martha Floyd, Nona Williams, Kathy Post, Angel Duncan, Shelly Bradberry, me, Stacy Haley, Luann Grice and Jeanie Rice.
Checking out all the goodies!
The hostesses bought us a pack n play! It goes perfectly with our theme, with little giraffes all over it and it's green. 
We got soooo many cute things!
Love this!
This is Deb, a wonderful friend who should have been labeled a hostess, she did so much! :) She took a bunch of my pictures, along with my sister in law, Shelly. 
Just some of the cute things we got from Special Occasions! 
My mom thought of the monkey hanging from the present...I love it! 
Love this!
Yummies!
The centerpieces were little monkeys and giraffes. :) SO precious! They were surrounded by little "baby bottles" made of candy!
Isn't this diaper cake adorable?? 
Some of the yummies!
So many sweet people came! From left are Luann Grice, Nona Williams, Sarah Erwin, Angel Duncan, Sandy Roberson and Adrianne Williams. 
From left: Barbara Burney, Ellen Hataway, Kathy Post, Betty Thompson, Debbie Bomar (my mom!), Ann Edwards and Lanell Bomar (my grandma!). 
Sooo many presents!
We received so many sweet blankets from friends and family, both home made and bought. Kaleb will be warm!! 
More cute stuff! We got sooo many cute outfits!
The room is coming along!!!
